Unwanted Fatherhood
by Atomic Jello
Summary: L didn’t ever want to have kids. He didn’t want to be a dad. It involved too much drama and confusion. Too bad that little girl with big puppy dog eyes had other plans. Lx?, Nearx?, MattxMello.


Title: Unwanted Fatherhood

Summary: L didn't ever want to have kids. He didn't want to be a dad. It involved too much drama and confusion. Too bad that little girl with big puppy dog eyes had other plans. Lx?, Nearx?, MattxMello

A/N: Well, I bet most of you who know my stories want yaoi. Well, there will be yaoi. It just won't be the focus. MattxMello ahead, along with Nearx? (reader's pick) and Lx? (also reader's pick. Or, rather, reviewer's pick). This is just a taste of this story. I just want to see how it's recieved, and if it's recieved well, I'll continue. If it isn't, well, KFD must be finished eventually, and NaruSasu is still my ultimate yaoi love.

Beta: None, sadly, because I'm fairly certain my darling _MikoGoddess _doesn't know Death Note. So, you shall all have to suffer from my horrible grammar, typos, tense changes, etc.

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Unwanted Fatherhood

Prologue

Every End is a New Beginning

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Who am I?

Sometimes, I don't even know.

My name is Kahoko.

But what does a name tell you about a person?

I was born on June 23. Two months before I met my 'dad'. Roughly eight and a half years before the Kira case was solved. He used to tell me stories about the day of my birth; how my mom, L's caretaker and assistant, Watari's, close friend died bringing me to this world. How he couldn't stand to see me bumped from one foster home to another. How he took me in on my ninth birthday. How he lived against all odds because of his need to do right by me and give me the upbringing he thought I deserved.

In all respects, he was like the father I never had. But, L was more of a brother to me. He didn't ever want me in his life, but I don't think he ever really hated me, no matter what he claimed. But, then again, I don't know a lot of things. I don't know what happened to my dad, but I don't really care. I have my brother, and that's all that matters. He was and will always be here. Always.

And now, all I want is to tell you a story. My story, my brother's story… it can be either because they're one and the same now. Because I am L now, the same way I'm Kahoko.

My brother and I deserve a tribute.

Even if no one wants to read it.

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There's no point in starting at the beginning. Because, honestly, I don't remember the beginning. My life was a blend of dull grays until L. When L came, life was a burst of brilliant color: bright blue, pearly purple, ravishing red, glowing green, yearning yellow… It makes me smile, just to think of it. May he rest in peace, and may he forgive me for being he reason that… no, I'm getting ahead of myself. Six months after the Kira case was solved, L found me and brought me home with him, sort of like a lost puppy left in a cardboard box to be adopted by whoever wanted to take home a sad, dejected animal left out in the rain. L didn't really ever _want _me. He said he didn't want me, but he couldn't stand to leave me behind.

He couldn't quite make up his mind.

Yes, L was the most brilliant detective in history, but the man had the social skills of a peanut. Not even a whole peanut. Oh, no. Half a peanut, at the most. And, well, his 'successors' weren't any better. Near was making up for an ill-spent childhood by surrounding himself with toys of all kinds. Mello was slowly learning how to love with none other than Matt. So, the mansion we all shared with Watari and an army of servants was exceedingly awkward.

I guess throwing a loud, exuberant nine year old into the mix didn't help much.

And, even more unfortunate is the fact that said nine year old was a full blown yaoi fangirl by twelve.

So, yeah, I helped nudge their slow-blooming relationship onto a faster track, but, hey, I gave them a cut of the fortune I made off of selling pictures of them doing… things. And, no, not THAT, things like kissing and handholding and hugging and cuddling.

But, that's all beside the point. The point is L's legacy. And part of the legacy is his everyday life. L is not only the greatest mind known to man, but he is also human being.

It is my job to show that to others, since it is a part of him that is oftentimes forgotten.

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L, who I think of as a brother to me, was an exceedingly awkward man. He had more quirks than most will ever know, and he didn't know how to take care of himself. I guess I was probably more of a parent to him than he ever was to me. I took great pleasure in picking out his clothes (variety is the spice of life) and making him wear shoes for once. He did not take any of this gracefully.

Near did not enjoy my taking away his toys either. And he definitely was not happy with me when I replaced them with dolls. Mello nearly chewed my head off when I ate his chocolate. All of it. I'm still kind of amazed with myself, since Mello is in possession of a lot of chocolate. And, well, Matt went insane when I hid all his video games. He, and his therapist, will never forgive me.

But, well, they all came to love me like the little sister they would never have, and I took over their care. Watari rejoiced, since that was probably his first vacation in thirty years. Poor soul. Anyway, my initiation into the hearts of my beloved brothers was not an easy one. It involved wheedling, whining, ass-kissing, and more puppy dog eyes than I could count at the time. Since all my boys were and are stand-offish, Watari was the only one that opened his heart and arms to me instantly.

Matt was next. All it took was a willingness to give him advice on what to do with Mello and how to charm Mello out of his shell and the purchase of a lot of video games. Of course, the second Matt and Mello became an official couple, Mello warmed to me and even shared his chocolate. On occasion.

Now, Near and L were a completely different story. Both were wary of me. Neither were exactly trusting people to begin with, either. L was perfectly content to solve crimes that made my brain hurt, even now, and Near happily aided him. Between the two of them, a childhood wonderland formed, L supplying the candy that gave me a cavity just looking at it and Near rolling around in eight feet of toys. Watari was probably suffering from a pretty horrible migraine, taking care of all their outlandish demands.

But, it's hard to say know when the two of them stare you down. If eyes are the windows to the soul, well, L and Near had souls that were empty, barren, and negative three hundred degrees year around. Or, at least, that's what it looked like when they decided some intimidation was needed.

Misa, air-headed Misa, was wandering around asking to see Light. Apparently, she hadn't gotten (or hadn't understood) the memo. Misa is clever and all, but she can be kind of stupid at times. Light was receiving intensive therapy, and, if that therapy resulted in a success, he would be released. The old Kira team had all left and returned to work to the tune of hefty sums of money and promotions.

So, it was just me, L, Near, Mello, Matt, and Watari.

The first week or so of my life with L was spent memorizing the layout of the giant mansion. There were secret rooms and passageways and doors that led to nothing. There was even a door on the third floor that opened to reveal the outside world. Such a thing could be very dangerous, because one unknowing step forward would result in a painful death. But, the mansion was very beautiful, nestled in the wild Japanese countryside, an intriguing land of mist and mystery, hidden and isolated from everyone else. The only way to get in and out of the mansion was via helicopter, so we got daily shipments of sweets, toys, videogames, chocolate, and things that were actually needed for survival.

So, life at L's mansion home was comfortable, and the perfect setting for some mischievous nine year old fun.

Of course, after many years of pranks and wriggling into their hearts, I finally broke through. Like I said before, Matt was the first of my boys to fully accept me. It's actually a nice memory.

I was sitting there, reading some yaoi manga, when Matt wandered in, concentrating on his video game. We sat there in almost companionable quiet, the soft rustling of the pages of Loveless (1) turning and the sound of gunfire and shouting from Matt's game consul. Then, Matt spoke.

"Hey, what are you reading?" He asked, putting his game down and reaching for a cigarette.

"Loveless," I said simply, peeking up at him through my lashes. It was weird for him to initiate a conversation and even weirder for him to put down his game.

"And, uh… what's that about?" Wow. More than three words!

I smirked. Time to embarrass him! "Well…" I said, drawing the word out, "I haven't gotten very far, but it's about these two guys in a fictional world who love each other. Kind of like you and Mello, huh?"

Matt choked quite spectacularly, almost swallowing his cigarette. "W-what? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, don't play coy with me. We both know that you've had your eyes on Mello for some time now." My smirk widened, and I have a feeling I looked like a Cheshire cat by now. "But, I'd always thought that Mello would be seme. He's seems more… aggressive. But, I hear an aggressive uke is good for certain… things."

Matt's face turned precisely 33 shades of pink, red, and purple.

"But, it's cuter this way, because it's always nice when the seme has to work hard to capture the heart of an emotionally stunted uke. But, then again, you're _both _emotionally stunted, but, hey, that only makes it sweeter." I stifled a giggle at the look on Matt's face. "Anyway," I continued, "I guess you've already done some research, considering you know what 'seme' and 'uke' means. Now, I bet you want advice."

"I…" Matt looked reluctant. "Yeah, I guess I do."

"Hm… Mello won't be easy to woo. He's difficult to get along with, so it's amazing that you too are this close already. And, well, the first step is to see if Mello reciprocates your feelings. So, you know, show some skin and see if he jumps you."

Matt choked, again. "What the…! No! I can't do that!"

I waved my hand at him. "I know. I was _joking_."

If Matt's eye was twitching before, it was flat out having a seizure by now.

He took a deep breath. "Kahoko… this may seem like a joke to you, but to me… I think I may really, honestly love Mello. This can't be a crush, Kahoko. I think…" Matt trailed off brokenly, and the sad, hopeless look in his eye sent a barb of pain and sympathy through my heart.

"Okay, I'll help as best as I can." I told him. "First, you have to develop a close friendship. Be honest to him at all times, and don't be afraid to tell him how you feel. Mello isn't the kind of person to run away."

"But, what if pursuing him ruins out friendship?" Matt asked.

"Well, some risks are worth taking. Is this risk worth it to you?" I searched his face, relaxing when I saw the look in his eyes.

"Yes, it is."

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(1) An actual manga which is pretty darn amazing.

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A/N:So, please review and tell me what you think.


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